1. a break or interruption in the continuity of a work, series, action, etc. 2. a missing part; gap or lacuna.
I thought it was just an argument. All relationships have them: some big and some small, some brief and others passionately long-winded. We fight, we make up, we move on and grow stronger together—that is the way things are supposed to go. These were just bad times, we’d work through them and get back to making more good times.
Did you know that it’s possible to be too selfless, too giving? It is. And when you’re giving up what you want for a prolonged period of time the stress that builds can lead to some very bad drama. Arguments ensued. Mean things were said. The kind of things that cut to the core and place the last twenty years in doubt. We were both sacrificing too much. And we were both sacrificing it in that void of isolation all too often created when conflicting work schedules meet poor communication.
I don’t want to be needed. That implies you’re only here because you have to be, because you’re forced. I want you to be here because you choose to be here; because you want it…or not at all.
Constantly giving to a relationship—be it from a sense of obligation or a need to feel needed—will only serve to make both people involved feel trapped. It is neither healthy, nor sustainable. To be in it for the long term requires a foundation of desire and trust; the willingness to both give and take; and presence of mind know when to help, listen, or let alone…sometimes when the other person doesn’t know which one they want.
So it was time to re-evaluate what we’re doing; rediscover, review, and revise our goals; and most importantly execute on the steps required to achieve those goals. Solo or together. Whether we’re busy or not. Between that and a pile of other personal and work-related deadlines all piling up in the same month, it was prudent to take a step back from the (often overwhelming) commitment to publish new content and focus on our own needs…and wants.
The irony of the situation is that, yes, during our two month hiatus we managed to write, shoot, sketch, and design more content than in the rest of the year to date. The difference is we did it knowing it was what we each individually wanted to create. And no, the adventure boudoir thing was not the catalyst of our personal conflict. Quite the contrary, it was one of the few things we agreed upon, and if anything the act of creating together is helping us heal together. Stay tuned, exciting new content (and a few announcements) soon.